the gorilla flicks holiday gift giving guide

Yes, it's that time of the year when we make wholly biased recommendations on items you should buy to give friends, loved ones, countrymen, and creepy uncles. Warning: These gifts may cause recipients to experience a host of side effects, including sexual dysfunction, dry mouth, nausea, headache, diarrhea, nervousness, restlessness, agitation, increased sweating, weight gain, insomnia and drowsiness. Gift at your own risk.

Holiday Themed Torso Sheaths

First things first, right? Surprise the kids on Christmas morning or any of the 8 days of Hannukah by looking too legit to festively quit in one of our fine garments. Okay, so it's just a darn T-shirt, but it's a garment by definition just the same. Anyway, you can look bold in black with a Santa Skull 'n' Crutches, pure as the driven snow with a white Santa Skull 'n' Crutches, or back in black and ready to Torah with a Kippah Skull 'n' Crutches. All are available from merchmethod.com, where you can also find the merchandising end of the Dickhouse rainbow.

jackass

You know how the go-to staples of the Periodic Table of Elements are like oxygen, helium, hydrogen, and boron, right? Well, think of jackass just like that but in an Oxford English dictionary way used to illustrate the words dumb, stupid, idiot, and moron. But in a good way. A fun way. An all in good fun way! From the prehistoric days of the television series on MTV to the ridiculously advanced production value of turd dementia in the third dimension, jackass has always had that something special—call it a joie de vivre or tas de merde—that many have attempted to imitate but never succesfully replicate. So spread some joy and gift someone in the junk with an unrated three-pack or one of the other testaments to dumb.

Ridiculousness

Need to shut the kids up and occupy their holiday ADHD while you and the other adults get merloted on Christmas day? Give them one, two, three, four, or however many seasons of Ridiculousness you're able to charge on your card! At this time, we'd also like to thank the interweb hordes for annually feeding the online beast and giving Rob Dyrdek and Co. ample material to spotlight season after season. Talk about a gift that keeps on giving! So gift this and gift hard—so hard—and deck the shelves with seasons of Ridiculousness for generations of peckins to enjoy because this shit just doesn't get old.

The Birth of Big Air

Is there anything better than to give the gift of inspiration to a young child? The answer, though a rhetorically asked question, is quite obvious because Whitney Houston wasn't kidding around when she said that the children are the future. Okay, so maybe that wasn't the most unique observation in the history of the world, but she sang it and made millions, so good on her. Anyway, Mat Hoffman is one of those things that will never go out of style because legends live forever. Plus, Mat's an all-around great guy, so it's awesome that ESPN gave him due credit for his contributive boost to the action sports world in a big, big, big way—hence the whole "Birth of Big Air" titling treatment.

Art

Art? Yes, art! Give the goddamn gift of art if you care enough to give more than a gift o' fart. This is a high quality, 11-color screened print of a skateboard graphic by Sean Cliver for Paisley Skates featuring a children's birthday party scene with top notch serial killer entertainment. It's not exactly what you'd find offered by the Franklin Mint or a timeless Americana classic ala Norman Rockwell, but it is what it is in this day and age of wonder and mystery and it's limited to an edition of 75 prints—each personally hand-numbered, signed, and touched by the artist himself. Oh yeah. Available only at paisleyskates.com.

A Wee Man Skateboard

It's all a logical progression and Wee Man has gone full circle Oroborus-style to his skateboard roots with Nullity Skateboards. You, the gift giving consumer of goods, can now acquire a skateboard directly from Wee Man, who will personally process your order, sign the board, pack it all up, and ship it off from his home base of operations in the South Bay of Los Angeles, California. Radical, right? Right! To jump on this truly unique item you can check out nullityskateboards.com or inquire direct at [email protected].