It's that festive time of year again where we bring you some semi-biased gift-giving and get-me-this ideas that are near and dear to our collective heart. Most all can be bought with a simple click and a valid credit card, so knock back some eggnog and do your online shopping part to keep this cyber economy butt-chugging along. Why? Because we're all in this together!
For starters, it's no mystery that we've got jackass and dickhouse shirts, hoodies, zip-ups, and totes (totes!) available over at merchmethod.com. If it is a mystery to you, well, I just don't know what to say other than that you really haven't been paying attention to our social media spree of late. Then again, algorithms are the devil's plaything, so who knows what Facebook or Instagram are allowing you to see or not see, because free is as free fucking does! Check the selections at merchmethod.com/jackass and merchmethod.com/dickhouse.
Next up, the gift of laughter. No, not just Chanel's, but the giddy joy you will derive from watching humans go boom and bust on the interwebs, as commentated and critiqued by Ridiculousness creator and host Rob Dyrdek. Multiple seasons are now available via direct download or certifiable hard disc, aka DVD, and you only have to click on any of these brightly colored words to have them at your loved one's fingertips or mailbox: Ridiculousness Volume Two, Ridiculousness Volume Three, Ridiculousness Volume Four, Ridiculousness Season 14, Ridiculousness Season 15, Ridiculousness Season 16, and Ridiculousness Season 4—just for starters, as you can rabbit hole from there until you get all the way to China or Watership Down.
Don't want to sit in front of the TV? Feel like living life in the great paved outdoors? We have just the thing for you: skateboard decks featuring the art of Jeff Tremaine and Chris Pontius. Tremaine's is a gorilla-sized slick-bottom board measuring 8 3/4" in width for all you big-foots, while Pontius comes in a screen-printed, slimmer 8 1/4" width for maximum pleasure. Don't have the skills but still enjoy the art? Hang them on your wall as a decorative fixture! Especially in those awkward narrow spaces where nothing else seems to work. Bonus: each and every one of these fine boards has been fondled and signed by the artists. See specs and learn more at paisleyskates.com.
Feeling dumb? Need to be learned? We've got documentaries coming out the wazoo to enlighten you about the world we live in and the kick-ass people that populate it. First, go big with BMX legend and all around awesome human Mat Hoffman on The Birth of Big Air. Then go even bigger with the larger than life personality of Evel Knievel in the aptly titled Being Evel. And to totally go out of the world—or at least as near to out of this world as you could get as a truck driver and exotic pet dealer who moonlighted as an amateur astronaut in a time when space was still very spacey—with the tragic yet inspiring tale of Nick Piantanida and Angry Sky. All directed or produced by Captain Kickass himself, Jeff Tremaine.
If you're feeling sinister, please bypass the minister and go straight to gingkopress.com for a big, square, coffee table book of shit that details (sort of) the chronological history of Big Brother skateboard magazine—all the way from crappy Issue #1 in 1992 to the last gasp on Issue #106 in 2004. What does this have to do with the price of a corporate tea in Starbucks? Well, to put it bluntly, without our origins at Big Brother it's likely that the course of mankind would not have been sullied or altered from its upwardly mobile course by a little thing called jackass and all the dumb shit to follow (including a full blown documentary on the magazine that will be debuting on Hulu next year). Buy this book if only for the exclusive new piece written by Chris Pontius, because every penny is worth it for that alone.
And lastly, of course, we have the wildcard (and thematic!) gift for the person who has everything, especially stress, and needs an adult coloring book to sooth the pottymouth beast within. Don't be a tool and just give them the book, though, because nothing is more annoying than getting one gift that requires another item to be purchased to actually use the damn thing. It's kind of like giving someone a vibrating pocket dildo without the batteries, but in this instance, markers or colored pencils would be a most welcome accompaniment so do the right thing.
What? No Wolfie Noodles t-shirts?
Posted by: You Know Who This Is | 12/08/2016 at 01:42 PM